Tuesday, September 16, 2008

the running life

I have hated running for as long as I can remember. Unfortunately for me, I found myself running a lot when I was growing up since I was always involved one sport or another. I distinctly remember running and running and running around the court lines in the gym at volleyball practice and loathing every minute of it. It made me breathless. It made me tired. It even made my ears hurt. I can’t actually explain that last symptom but the sum effect of it was an ever-present, ever-increasing hatred for running.

After graduation I did my best to participate in as few aerobic activities as possible. I didn’t become a complete couch potato, I just chose other, more restful forms of physical activity (think yoga and pilates, walking sort of fast on the treadmill). I have only recently begun to regard running as an activity worthy of my time. This is quite a shift for me and since I don’t change my mind a lot, I felt is strangely noteworthy.

I guess the first hint of a change was inspired by my little boy, Seth. I love him more than I ever thought I could ever love another human being. He has, God bless him, the independent streak of his mother and the energy level of his father, which is to say he’s mostly compliant, except for when he’s not and runs around pretty much all of the time. And did I mention that he’s three? So let’s just say that the need to regularly de-stress is has been growing.

The second and most compelling reason to change became clear to me at the end of a very long illness. The months that I was sick, those were horrible days. I was tired and cranky, hurting and scared but mostly, I was sad, tremendously sad that I was missing so much of my life. And then something miraculous happened. Suddenly, I began to sense health returning to me - not in a trickle but a steady stream. I was overjoyed! Life and vibrancy and hope had returned to me like a very needed but unexpected gift. I remember asking myself one day, what I was going to do with my newly restored life. I decided the most gracious way to accept this gift was to open it, to really live life, and to celebrate it by doing something crazy, something unimaginable, something like running.

So that’s how it all began. I started slowly - and I mean that in every sense of the word - but over time something very strange happened. I began to enjoy it. It is a small thing but I remember so clearly the day that I ran a mile without really even breathing all that hard. It felt great! It gave me this tremendous sense of accomplishment that I had been missing for so, so long. I helped me believe in me again.

So now running has become a bit of a habit (only, unlike eating chocolate and popping my knuckles, this one is actually good for me). I’ve been running about other day now for about three months. And I’m very happy and quite proud to announce that last Saturday I completed my first 5K! Hooray for me! And then just for fun, I did another one last Saturday. Hooray for me again!!!

This is all very new to me, this parading my personal triumphs, this use multiple exclamation points. I am much more comfortable unleashing silliness or mindless wonderings into the world of print. But I think I’m beginning to realize how important it is to recognize those truly amazing happenings in life like changefulness and accomplishment and to celebrate them. They really aren’t that common and they have the most wonderful effect of making life a bit more livable and hope a bit easier to sustain in the midst of difficult times.

2 comments:

Dominique said...

Yea for you!!! My sister and I are doing the Susan Komen 5K in Jacksonville on October 18th- our 30th b-day!! You should do it too. It was great seeing you last night.

Jan Brown said...

And another beautiful post. Your blog is an inspiration. Thanks, Rachel.