rice and eggs and a place of abundance

I ate lunch outside today. Why I don’t do that more often? We’ve been blessed with such beautiful weather lately. A beautiful day and a good meal – rice and eggs. My grandmother used to fix that for me sometimes. She was a wonderful Southern cook. She could make anything taste good, even rice and eggs. It was all very satisfying until my mind drifted away to some not-so-generous thoughts about a friend. To be honest, I was surprised to find them there and a little confused.

I'll be the first to admit that I’m no saint but I typically try to regard others with kindness and respect. It is a rare occasion when I find myself feeling negatively towards someone, especially someone I consider a friend. I could have blown it off but today I was curious. Why would I desire a dream to be dashed, a hope to be crushed? Why would I withhold love and encouragement? Why would I secretly desire failure for a friend? All good, uncomfortable questions. I was surprised at how suddenly the answer came. Gently, like a breeze, the word “scarcity” floated into my mind. Something within my spirit began to resonate.

For a moment, or perhaps a lifetime, I have tolerated a great, disastrous untruth – that there is not enough to go around - that you have to beat out everyone else out if you want the prize – that to succeed you must crush the competition. Truth is, if you beat down the competition, you indeed win the race, the game, the fight, whatever, but in doing so, you brutalize your soul. How satisfying is a victory when it leaves behind a trail of broken and bleeding, hurting people? How soon before your glory fades and the trophy begins to tarnish? And when you withhold yourself, your support, your love, your help, how long before you yearn for the very thing you once refused to give?

You know the ending. All of the fame, the glory, the stuff, evaporates. Only faith, hope, and love remain. In these there is no lack or striving, no selfish ambition to muddy the motives of the heart. If I allow it, these glorious ideas move me far beyond hurt and desire, beyond even pride and selfishness. They move me to a wide open space. I imagine it as an expansive field, beautiful and peaceful. Here there is no fear. Here I am free to give my love, my support, and my encouragement to a friend without regard to my own desires. God knows them after all. His hand nourishes and supports them. It is a good place. I think I would like to live here.