Tuesday, February 17, 2009

the grand experiment (in my opinion)

I am three weeks into my grand experiment - the experiment to determine if I can bring myself to return to full-time employment. So far my stint has gone pretty well. Despite some minor inconveniences - inexplicably grumpy teachers, laryngitis, a nasty cough, and of course, pink eye (it had to be pink eye) – despite all of that, things are going very well.

It seems like I am complaining. I am not complaining. This job has actually been a great blessing. I’m doing my job and being paid well for it. So I have no reason to complain at all except for the pink eye. Unfortunately, I have been a pink eye magnet since kindergarten but I have never had strep throat, so that is a consolation.

Communicable diseases aside, this job is helping me in ways I had not imagined. Take for instance, time management. I have discovered that I do not completely stink at it. It’s just that I only tend to manage my time when I have less of it, oddly enough. I find that I don’t have nearly enough time to procrastinate these days. So it has come back to me, like riding a bicycle.

It has also given me this tremendous sense of gratitude for my life at home. Mostly, I miss seeing my son. I had the chance to stay home with him yesterday and it was sheer bliss (if you subtract several time-outs for the usual four-year-old behaviors). But it’s not just missing him. I miss the pace, the casual pace of life that we have together – shopping in the morning, picnics at lunchtime, the treadmill at naptime. Yes there are things not to miss - the mess, the laundry, but those things never cease.

So in five weeks I will return to life as I knew it before the grand experiment with something I’m not sure I ever had before – appreciation.

2 comments:

septembermom said...

This is a great post filled with thoughtful reflections and personal assessment. I like how you define this as the grand experiment. It sounds like a good way to view all aspects of your life - mom, wife, professional - and appreciate your efforts to honor them all!

Jan Brown said...

I haven't been checking blog entries lately so only just saw this one. It is indeed thoughtful and beautiful. Thanks for taking time to share. I always find your writing so uplifting.